As a therapist for women, couples, children and families, I receive a lot of questions about life and relationships:
How can I attract my dream partner who truly loves me?
How can I stop this pain, my heart is aching so badly?
Our marriage is on the verge of divorce, how can I find love between me and my partner again?
How can I persuade my partner to be more active and excited about sex?
How can I get rid of this back pain? It hurts me every day and I hate it. Daisy, how can I be happy?
A lot of How…?
I guess it used to be the story of my life too. Lots of striving and trouble shooting. I was born in a low-middle class family in Vietnam. Both of my parents studied so hard, came to the capital city and did everything to make both ends meet.
When I was born, the 3 of us lived in a 7 square meter studio with my 2 aunts and 2 uncles. All the flats didn’t have water supply. There were only 2 common taps in the front yard for the whole building to share. So every day when my mum came home from work, she would carry me on one hand and a 10 liter bucket of water on the other. We walked up 3 flights of stairs together.
My dad worked hard day and night to earn money. We didn’t have a telephone at the time. From the tiny balcony in our flat, we could see the light from my dad’s office. Every evening, after mum finished fetching water, cooking and cleaning, she carried me on her arms and we would both gaze towards my dad’s office to see if we should wait for him for dinner.
I still remember crystal clear the feeling of eagerness within baby Daisy’s eyes. She was so looking forward to many evenings for her dad to come home. We waited for more than half an hour but the light in his office was still on. Then mum and I would go inside, put the food aside for dad and we ate dinner. The eagerness turned to disappointment.
Unconsciously, I made a decision that one day I will be super rich, powerful and successful so love will have time for me and love will come home. Interestingly, I grew up as a super achiever and a perfectionist badass. In school, I took after hour classes, worked part-time and commuted 30 km on my bike to volunteer. When I worked in corporate, I stayed late, took extra projects on and made connections with powerful people.
When I first started as a therapist, I gave my clients 200% of my time with 50% discount on my fees. So much doing and striving to figure out all the HOW.
I didn’t know the WHO. Who would do all the HOW? I didn’t know WHO I WAS. WHO AM I?
So I went searching for it.
Books after books, courses after courses, teachers after teachers, masters after masters. I poured all of my savings into healings, personal development programs and practitioner trainings. I loved every bit of it, as they were stepping stones for me just like any other area of my life experience.
But I also caught myself in the rat race of striving to find the HOW again. One more time, I tried my absolute best to search for love and God outside of myself. That moment, I felt it was so hard to breathe, my head turned round and round. I felt so dizzy that I couldn’t see clear. There was no one around.
No Andrew. No gurus. Nothing.
So I decided to STOP AND Just Breathe. I dropped down on my knees and sobbed. Uncontrollably.
My whole body was trembling.
My jaw jiggled and cranked together.
I cried and moaned like an animal.
I didn’t know how long.
And right on that floor, I saw a vision right in front of my eyes: Me on my favourite red top and from both my shoulders came huge golden wings of the infinity signs. The wings were so fluid that they were actually just energy.
And she flew towards me landing on my thighs. She held my face with tears rolling down my cheeks. She kissed my tears and put her palms on my chest. And we both closed our eyes and breathe together. I heard a voice telling me: You are LOVE, you ARE love, YOU are love.
I immediately opened my eyes and all I could see was her gentle smile, she nodded and she started flying all around me, spreading her magical golden energy around me with her wings. From this moment on I started knowing who I am and why I wake up every day. It completely changed the way I live, love and work.
Because I wake up every day, Infinite Love gets to exist here on Earth. This is the love that heals it all. The love that judges no one and nothing. The love that befriends all fears, judgements and hurts. This love gives birth to children and future generations. The love that passes on from one generation to another, one family to another. This is love within me, infinite and inter-connected to all. This love is ME.
I am here to represent + illuminate + awaken Infinite Love in every life I touch, in humanity, Mother Earth and the whole Universe of miracles.
So fast forward to the answer of all questions that we mentioned at the beginning of this post: We can’t achieve love, happiness, success by trying harder, working harder, getting more, studying with gurus. We can’t find the answer if we keep asking the wrong question: HOW?
My wish for you is that you will find out Your Unique Source Within: Who you TRULY are. Then you will live it, shine brightly and fearlessly. I’m right here with you. I got your back, cheer you on and celebrate every step you take.
And this is my first poem and I want to share with you:
Stop the searching, start arriving.
Right now. In this present moment.
Stop searching for love.
Start breathing into love.
Start becoming love.
Then just be love.